Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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