My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Sorry about my life...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
