I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
