worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
