Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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