Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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