I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
