Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
