No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
