wanna go halves on a baby?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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