I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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