I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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