Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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