I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.