TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life