i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
