Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
