Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
