Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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