I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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