His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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