i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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