the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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