Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
