You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
one might say we're banned from that church
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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