My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
