not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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