Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Did I show you my penis last night?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
