the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
