like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
