I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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