I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
