a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Every concussion has its silver lining
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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