You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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