Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
