i will never coherently bang her
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
