Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
