I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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