Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
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My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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