OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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