I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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