It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
