i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
