At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize