Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
