I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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