i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
