New invention idea: vibrating tampons
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
