how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
