So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
