if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
