ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
worst night to have a conscience
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
