last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
