it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
