i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize