i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
