I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
