I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
