Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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