jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Betty ford says i'm here all night
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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