What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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