Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Shame is for Republicans.
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