I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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