Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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