I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
