STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
